Really
by Banna-nannas
Summary: "Really?" "Really." There's more to be told than what made it to the screen... (Banna S6 Missing Moment)


**Of the umpteen scenarios I imagined, this is the one that made it out of my fingers and onto the page. I always felt there needed to more more to the "Really/Really" scene. So, here's my take on it. Enjoy!**

 **Thanks for the eyes, mr-and-mrs-bates**

* * *

"Really?" He asked, so filled with hope, it came out almost as a whisper. He grasped her hand close to his chest as he looked deeply into her eyes waiting to hear the response they'd been longing for for years.

"Really," she answered, her voice cracking with excitement and joy. Tears welled in her eyes as she smiled up at him.

His heart jumped within in his chest as he struggled to breathe regularly. _Is this real?_

At once, their private reverie was interrupted by the sound of Mrs. Patmore and the return of the newlywed Carsons back from their Scarbrough honeymoon. Forced to step away from each other, John released her hand reluctantly, but certainly not his attention. He couldn't tear his eyes away as he tried to calm his pounding heart, marveling all the while at what she had told him. He thought for sure that when he faced her that afternoon she would confirm the fears that plagued him since she left with Lady Mary for London. He hadn't believed for a moment that Lady Mary was ill, despite Anna's attempts to convince him otherwise.

If asked, he wouldn't be able to recount what was said for the next few minutes…no, hours. His wife was the only thing occupying his thoughts. They were going to be parents. At long last, they were going to have a child. Finally, after years of trying, longing and hoping. Finally, after facing the continued pain, disappointment and utter devastation. Ever since he knew of the miscarriages, he had worried. Continuing to try to conceive was a double-edged sword to him. There was no question he desired his wife. There had never been a time when he hadn't. But despite their efforts, to be rewarded time and again with pain was something he would never wish on her again. He had meant it when he told her that she was enough. But, she was tenacious. Months earlier, she had traveled to London with Lady Mary. She brought the sun back with her. She was everything light and joy; and he found that her desire for him had amplified. There would be no complaints from him on that point. All throughout, he held on to a sliver of hope that one day their wishes would be granted—not for his sake, but for hers. She deserved the desires of her heart.

He looked at her from across the room. Ensconced as she was by clusters of conversation across the servant's hall, he watched, a small smile alighting his eyes. The murmurings around him reminded him that he still needed to appear interested. He nodded at appropriate intervals. Occasionally, he made eye contact, but they sought her out immediately afterwards. Something inside needed reassuring that she was real, she was here and what happened wasn't just his imagination fooling him. He had so many questions, and yet he felt so many things made sense now. They still had hours to go before he could have her to himself. _What's more frustrating than this? Being surrounded by people and yet unable to talk to your wife…_ Feeling his gaze, she turned and offered him a blinding smile. Struck by the beauty of it, it was a small miracle he remained standing. On the edge of laughter, his breath shook as he smiled in return. As she turned back, he took in the time and his countenance fell. He would never be alone with her at this rate.

* * *

It shouldn't be possible for hours to crawl by at such a pace. Torturously slow. Mister Bates sat at the servant's hall table, his patience wearing thinner than the pages he pretended to read. Lord Grantham commonly retired earlier than Lady Mary, leaving him to wait for Anna later into the evening. His glances alternated between the doorway nearest the stairwell, the clock in their dining area and the book before him. The bouncing of his knee under the table caused a clattering of his tea cup against it's saucer that failed to capture his notice. Several hall boys noticed, though. Recognizing the valet's agitated state, they nodded to each other as they quietly excused themselves—not that John would have acknowledged it anyway.

Before long, he heard the rapid tapping of shoes on the stairs. Knowing it was her before she rounded the corner, he was already up and making his way to the door. Nearly knocking him over, she giggled and steadied herself by grasping his arm.

She brought the other to her chest exclaiming, "Dear me, Mister Bates, you gave me a fright!"

He chuckled at her effusiveness.

"Are you nearly ready?"

"All finished up! I've been ready to bust all day. I cannot wait to get home."

She grasped at his elbow and practically dragged him to the door. Stopping to put on their outerwear, they helped each other into their coat sleeves and hats. He couldn't help but linger near her collar as he looped her scarf for her. His tender look brought a trembling to her hands as she reached up to grasp his own before placing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

"Let's go home, John," she whispered.

* * *

Their walk home was filled with a buzzing sort of silence. Afraid to say or do anything too demonstrative out in the open, they had an unspoken agreement to wait until they were behind closed doors. Her hand was in his the moment the courtyard gate clicked shut behind them. She squeezed him every few breaths or so, as he turned his eyes to her; and, he was glad for it. It served as another reminder of the realness of the day's events.

The tension hung in the air once they entered the cottage. Routine dictated their actions. Their coats were hung by the door. She turned to start the tea and he lit the lamps. Coming to face each other in the sitting room, their emotions were brimming over.

"John, I…"

"Oh, my Darling…" Speaking simultaneously, they laughed softly together.

Anna bit her lip and looked down bashfully. John's hand trembled as he reached to lift her chin. Meeting her eyes, she could see the wetness gathering on his lashes. Unable to control the quiver in her chin, her resolve broke. In the next breath, their arms were wrapped tightly around each other. She could feel the quaking sobs from his chest as she held him close. Joyful tears poured down her own face. This was it. The realization of years of hope and the anticipation of a day, no, months spent in waiting amounted to this grand release of emotions.

Calming slightly, he pulled back to caress her hair. After pressing a reverent kiss to her forehead, he looked at her fully.

"Anna, my darling, is it really true? This is really happening?" he implored softly.

"It's real, John," she sniffed as he wiped her tears with his thumbs.

Pursing his lips, he took a deep breath and nodded. His hands slid down the length of her arms and he began to lower himself to his good knee.

"What are you doing, you silly beggar?! John, your knee…"

Her eyebrows knit together and she trailed off in confusion when he interrupted her with shushing. His hands wound around to the curve of her lower back and he pulled her closer. Closing his eyes, he bestowed a kiss to her belly before turning his head to rest his cheek there.

Tears sprang to Anna's eyes anew. Stifling a sob, she covered her mouth at the sweet gesture. Not wanting to ruin the moment, she tenderly ran the fingers of her other hand through his hair to rest at the nape of his neck.

"Oh, John," she gasped.

Hearing her, he twisted to rest his chin on her belly.

Looking at her with red-rimmed eyes, he rasped, "I love you."

Smoothly, she melted down to her knees in front of him.

"I love you too…so much." She tugged his shirtsleeve to bring him to rest beside her more comfortably. "Let me tell you about London."


End file.
